J-Wild

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Water Wussies

There are so many good, powerful, and deep posts on most of the blogs I read right now that I am a little embarrassed to post something so non-meaningful. But oh well.

I took the Youth Group Kids on a camping trip to the Pocono's. Long story short we camped one night, played paintball in the rain all day, returned to find that all the girls tents had mini-lakes in them, rented a motel, went river rafting the next day, and came home. It was a great trip and the kids were a lot of fun to be around.

During the river rafting the guides encourage you to get into water fights. They even arm us with buckets (supposedly used for bailing water out of your own boat), and you can rent these water gun cannons. We had two boats and each boat had a bucket and two water cannons. Needless to say there were many many water battles between the two boats. When a boat that wasn't a part of our group tried to pick a water fight, the other YG boat made it their mission to make it clear that if you pick on one you have to deal with both. The kids would yell, "That's just how we roll in the Heir Force...we're from NYC and we don't play." Imagine the faces of the poor people in those foolish boats who suddenly found themselves surrounded by a bunch of teens from NYC who seemed one screw short of becoming completely unhinged. It was awesome and one of my more prouder moments as their youth minister.

Anyway I was reminded of a thought I have had countless times. Maybe not so much a thought but a realization.
No matter how big, strong, adept, or aggressive a water fight oppenent might be if they have to wipe their eyes after every splash or hold their nose in the water they can never win!

I am not an eye wiper or nose holder so when I come across an individual who wants to pick a fight in the pool and they happen to have one or both of these handicaps (which happens often...I am a youth minister) I sincerely enjoy dominating them by exploiting those weaknesses.

If I am being honest I have always thought of the nose-holder and eye wiper as being a particularly weak and sad swimmer. I know that sounds cruel, but be honest. How many times have you seen a person jump into a pool holding their nose and think "What's up with that! Wouldn't want that person trying to rescue me if I caught a cramp." Maybe I have been hanging out with teens to much.

Why is it that some people are nose holders or eye wipers, and others are not? I pray that Levi is neither, I am sure his mom will see to it that he can jump into water and blow out of his nose at the same time. It's not that hard. And the water in the eyes thing...it's just water pull it together, your getting you butt kicked by a guy who is 135 lbs and 5' 6"! Salt water might be different but plain old water....why the wiping?

8 comments:

jch said...

That's 5'6" with heels on.

kenny said...

...on two phonebooks.

holly said...

I am both an eye-wiper and nose-holder but I will still take anybody down one-handed with my waterlogged eyes clamped shut. I have a superhuman feistiness that more than compensates. Plus I'm slippery. And not above fighting dirty.

Or I just like to talk smack.

Jana said...

Hello!!! Chlorine!!! It burns me corneas!!!

Byron said...

Until you have been thrown to the bottom of the ocean by a 6 foot breaker while dodging your surfboard, you have not experienced water damage. I mock the nose holder and the eye wiper belongs in the shallow end!!! 5'6" or 6'5", Jason - you make those babies pay for being soft. God bless your ministry.

Anonymous said...

Kenny and Joe...leave my son alone. He's a very tall man and always has been.

Bobbi

J-Wild said...

Yea!

Thanks mom!

Anonymous said...

Some of us older people grew up going to church services and gospel meetings so often we save thousands of baptisms...the natural outcome of seeing baptismas and not going "mixed bathing" creates an automatic "close the eyes and hold the nose" response.

Your mom, who wipes her eyes every time...