J-Wild

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Putting Down Roots


I had an unbelievable time on my golf trip. The weather was great and the golf was awesome. I also had a lot of fun with my dad. I can't wait to do it again sometime. Oh yea, I am still not great at golf, but I love it twice as much now that I know what I am SUPPOSED to be doing.

On the drive back to Long Beach from Palm Springs I heard an NPR segment about a woman who came to inherit a small town cemetery. She moved to the small town to rehabilitate the cemetery and reopen it to the public. Some of the tombstones dated back to the early 1800's and the town has had mixed reactions to some of her new rules. For example, you can no longer leave plastic flowers, only real ones, and no one can leave a beer bottle, toys, candles, or anything like that. One day a young man came and told her that he thought some of his relatives were buried in the cemetery. As luck would have it a distant relative was buried in a small grave in the corner of the cemetery. The young man became overcome with emotion at finding this distant relative, even though he had never met the person. He purchased the plots surrounding the grave so that he and any other relative could be buried there.

The woman explained the young man's behavior as a need to put down roots, to find some place to belong. Of course it sounds weird to belong to a cemetery, but no matter what happens to him he will have a place to come back to when it's all said and done. That can be pretty powerful. My family on my Dad's side has a family plot in a cemetery somewhere between Azle and Ft. Worth, Texas. I have only been there once (when we buried my grandmother) and it was weird / kind of cool to see all these different Isbell headstones. There was even a Daniel (my middle name) Isbell who had died in his early twenty's around the turn of the century. I am not sure if the Fraley side has a family plot...mom?

So if you had to be buried somewhere where would it be, and would you make it a family plot, or would it be just you there? You cannot say that you would rather be cremated, which is what I personally would prefer. I would prefer cremation for a lot of reasons, most of which have to do with being slightly claustrophobic. But for the sake of this post we will leave cremation off the table.


I will go first. If I died today (I have 45 minutes until today is over so it's a safe bet I'll make it), and I had to be buried with casket and a tombstone, I think I would like to be buried at the edge of the woods, near the camp fire circle at Camp Shiloh. Besides instantly becoming an infamous ghost story, Shiloh has played such a central role in my life, that it feels right to go back there. Also it would be easy access for anyone who wanted to come and visit me, and the place is kept really nice at-least three months of the year. I wouldn't want to be deep in the woods...it's too scary, but the edge would be just fine. I would make mine a "Spousal" plot, assuming that Allison wouldn't mind being there as well. Although that might be somewhat up in the air. She loves Shiloh, but isn't too fond of Sullivan County.

PS: I would want to be an Organ Donor, and you should too. I heard it doesn't hurt so it's no big deal.

6 comments:

Kyle said...

I just want to be next to my wife, Amanda. If I had to say where I want to be buried if I were to die now I would have to say...gee that's a hard one because at this point Amanda would probably re-marry and be burried next to her new husband. (What a terrifying thought) anyway, it would probably be in Baytown, where I live now, but it doesn't feel like home anymore, so maybe Abilene, which is really the last place that did feel completely like home. Maybe somewhere inbetween. But, like you, I'm going out in a flame as soon as they take my working organs away.

Anonymous said...

Next to my sweetie in Compere Cemetary, near Noodle, TX. All my dad's family is there, including my dad who we buried last year. Quiet (I suppose all cemetaries are), rustic, wide-open, West Texas. I love it. Bluebonnets bloom there in the spring. But I feel a little guilty making friends drive the 25 miles out "in the country" to plant my carcus. Feels a little passive-agressive on my part. And yes, they can take it all,ie - my organs, if any of them are still any good...

JD said...

Interesting question. Personally I have no concern about where they send me. In a pine box floating down the Mississippi River is ok with me. But I know that others will be affected by the decision. I do not believe I have any feelings about it whatsoever. Is that weird? Don't answer that.

Byron said...

I'm with JD. I can't say that I will really care where they plant me. That part of death is for the one's we leave behind. I would like to be around for my funeral. I have always been curious about what people will say. I am a big fan of organ donation. If I'm not using them then share the wealth.

erinlo said...

I don't think I will care where I'm buried- I'll be dancing with Jesus. BUT, I want to be somewhere where my family- especially my husband and kiddos- can easily visit. And, yes, I definately want to be an organ donor!!

Anonymous said...

I'm all about being cremated, and I am on a list to be an organ donor should the need arise. I'm not sure where I want my ashes spread. I haven't really lived in a place that had enough personality that I could say, "Now that's where I want my ashes!"