Porn III

Such fantastic comments, thank you for taking the time to write. When it comes to this topic all "blog guidelines" are off, make your comments as long as they need to be.

As Bill pointed out, pornography as we know it today is the failure of both men and women. Both men and women (Christie Hefner, is the chairman and CEO of Playboy and has been since 1988) are at the helms of these companies and they are determining the content, delivery, and pervasiveness of porn in our world. How the modern world got to where it is now with it's views on sex could fill volumes. I think that the time we are living in now where we are all connected instantaneously to each other and expect media content on demand via the web will prove to be the most influential to our collective views on sex and relationships than at any other time in history.

I don't think we will ever be able to outright ban pornography, nor do I think we should set that as a goal. Forcing all pornographers to have a .xxx at the end of their url seems perfectly reasonable and would be very beneficial. Child pornography is an entirely different thing, we need to ban, hunt down, and lock away the people who consume and provide that kind of content. I think the battle field is in our hearts, souls, and bodies. To win the war is to thoroughly root ourselves and relationships under a full and proper understanding of our sexuality and how that interacts with a Christian understanding of identity. This understanding should be sought in both our corporate or communal lives as well as our individual and partnered lives.

So how is that done? How do we start to honestly take a look at our own individual sexuality and then communicate that effectively with our spouses, children, church, community, etc? How do we discern what is normal, or acceptable in light of our faith and community? The entities around us that aggressively addresses the issues of sex (TV, movies, porn, music, magazines) seem to be obsessed with airbrushed fantasy, limitless availability, and instructional "how to's" that promise to make sex "the best ever!" How can the church place themselves more on the offensive rather than the defensive? How can the church recognize and acknowledge our sexual natures, and help guide us through a world so fraught with temptation, sin, and distortion?

It is ironic to me that we live and commune in churches that hold the belief that God is the one who created this powerful, passionate, bonding, and fulfilling gift of sex. Yet we abdicated the discussion and exampling of what sex is to the world partly because the world presents the topic in a much more titillating way and our flesh likes that - can't help it we are just made that way. Since God made it, and you could argue commanded it, shouldn't we have a lock on the emotional, physical, and spiritual power of sex? I think a lot of people have the right balance, but they aren't supposed to talk about it, right? And they probably didn't get there without making big mistakes along the way.

I am not saying that Christians don't deal with the topic of sex. There are literally thousands of books, sermons, websites, etc. that deal with the topic. I am talking about us, you and me. Speaking for myself here, I know that despite my best efforts I am in constant battle between what I see, hear, and feel everyday, and what Christ and the Holy Spirit inside of me tells me about sex and my sexual nature. What I am starting to see is that I cannot fight the battle alone. That is where satan wants me to go, because he knows that if I am alone or feel alone then I will not survive intact. I must include my wife, my friends, my church, and my children. Each of those relationships play an important role in how I see value in my life and in this world. And each of those relationships help me to see and understand my sexual nature in a clearer way.

But that is a lot easier said than done. Face it some of us have messed up thoughts, messed up expectations, and twisted understandings about what sex is or is not (some people need to let go of their inhibitions). It is a lot easier to just keep on existing with each other assuming everything is fine, instead of bringing up stuff that might upset that balance of "peace" in those relationships. But our generation must make the topics and issues of sex and relationships more communal and less individual. We must stand together more, sharpening our understandings and leaning on each others strengths instead of standing alone in the dark where our marriages, children, community, and selves will surely fail.