Shopping and Growing Up

Allison went shopping last week and was in Old Navy trying to get some pants for Levi. He desperately needed some new jeans since most of the ones he had either had holes in them or were too small. In Old Navy Allison was looking in the clothing section she had always shopped in for Levi's clothes, the baby and toddler section. This is the section with the 2T, 3T, and 4T sizes.

She was looking for a pair of size 5 jeans. After a considerable amount of time looking around she began to become frustrated because there were not any pants that she could find in his size. Then she realized that there wasn't a size 5 in the section she was in because that clothing size was in another place altogether. Levi's size 5 jeans were in the "big-kids" department at the other side of the store. Allison walked across the store with a growing ache in her heart that is both familiar and shared with mothers all over the world. Once in the right section she found the size 5 jeans she was looking for.

The jeans were folded and neatly stacked right along side numerous pairs of other jeans meant for kids twice his size and age. The tears started welling up in her eyes and the reality of how big Levi was getting came crashing home. The past four and three-quarter years flashed in her mind as a single moment and it took her breath away. She put the jeans back in the stack and as the tears began to fall she turned and walked out of the store without buying anything for Levi.

Over the years I have learned that a mother's heart is a complex thing. Full of love, joy, and hope as well as guilt, worry, and longing. Standing in Old Navy I know that Allison's heart experienced that entire range of emotions while holding that pair of 5T jeans meant for her precious first born son.

Another thing I know about Allison is that when it comes to shopping for her boys, she does not become easily deterred. With her depth of shopping experience and knowledge of Manhattan's children's clothing stores, she quickly came to a solution. Wiping away the tears, Allison walked down the street one block to H&M where she knew for sure that size 5 jeans are still kept with the 2T, 3T, and 4T sizes. The heartbreaking speed of Levi growing up was slowed down just a little bit. She got him some pants and picked some things up for Zeke since both sizes were in the same section.

We both know that sooner than either of us can possibly believe, time will not spare us from the fact that both Levi and Zeke are growing up. For this we give praise and thanks to God and we really wouldn't want it any other way. But who can blame us for trying to find ways to slow down time just a little bit.